I decided to open up my blog to guest posters last week. So let me introduce you to my first guest: Her name is Susan Kinchen and this is how she describes herself:
I am webpreneur and philosopher that “plays” at work with my love of writing. Self-improvement and personal development has become my main passion in writing and life. After struggling with severe depression for the majority of my life, I have dedicated myself to finding serenity and helping others along the way. When I am not working or reading self-help books, my granddaughter and daughter are my focus.
Now onto her post:
I have often been caught saying that nothing is more wonderful than being a grandmother. You get to have all the fun without the responsibility. In addition, one assumes that you have gotten a bit wiser with age. Hopefully, this brings patience and understanding.
It is not all rainbows, however. There are still some realities that tend to pop up on occasion. These truths make it glaringly clear being grandmother is not for the faint at heart.
1. Sure, I Will Babysit.
Oh, yes, I do have the posts due on Monday but it's ok.
How does a grandmother say no to this? Really, I would love to know. No matter what is going on in their life. They are usually willing to drop everything to babysit.
This means any and all important tasks get placed on the back burner. Children demand your attention and I, for one, don't mind giving it to Anna, my granddaughter. However, that means playing catch up much of the time.
2. Yes, I Let Her Stay Up Until Midnight and Have Cookies For Breakfast
Yes, I do remember that I never let you do it.
It's hard for our “grown” children to understand that we are not the same people who raised them. We have matured. What used to seem like such a big deal back then is no longer important.
Hopefully, we have developed more patience and have made it the point we truly believe the motto; Don't sweat the little things.
This does mean that every once in a while it is necessary to have the “talk” and remind our children that we are the grandparent's, not parents.
3. Your Child Does Not Love Me Best.
She just loves me differently than you.
We are the fun ones and let them get away with a lot more than “Mom” and “Dad.” This can cause the child in question to want to spend more time with us. We love this idea. However, the parent usually gets a bit jealous.
We are on a constant balancing act between happiness that our favorite people want to spend time with us and worried about our children's feelings. I never imagined me telling my grandchild don't say that to Mama, it will hurt her feelings.
4. No, I Don't Love Her More Than You.
I just love her differently.
Jealousy works both ways when it comes to parents.
Perhaps, it is because we are easier on their children than we were on them. It could also be because we are more relaxed and enjoy life now. However, our children can feel neglected.
It is important to find some way to show “Mom” or “Dad” that you love them, as well.
5. I can't tell you what to do.
Even when I think you are making a huge mistake.
We have lost our control. We are not the parents of these precious jewels and have absolutely no say in how they are raised, what activities they engage in, or what rules they must follow — unless we are babysitting.
We love them dearly. Therefore, watching from the outside of the situation is difficult and just have to hope for the best. I can't count the several times I have bit my tongue, literally. However, I don't always succeed in holding my opinions. That just causes resentment.
Being a grandmother is one of the most rewarding jobs a person can have. However, it can feel like you are stumbling through a minefield. It takes all your patience and understanding to come out on the other side without the bitterness from the parents.
I always have one thought at the back of my head. If Brittany, my daughter, resents me enough, I could lose not just her but Anna, as well. I have seen it happen with my family and friends. The number one reality of being a grandmother — You have no control of whether you see your family so cherish every moment you have.
You can check out her blog @ The Quirky Philosopher
And also her webpage @ Quirky Writing Services